[this post is a much later than usual because well… life. but i will still write it as though i am posting it on the day i am supposed to hehe. this post is also much more disorganised than previous posts because… life. sorry :/]
“the years get shorter and the days get longer.” apparently this is what new parents say/experience, but i’d also like to suggest that the same is true for the ph.d. program. so far, in my experience, first year = best year, if only for the reason that there are little to no expectations on you. now, in my third year, what i do is admittedly more fun (research) but it also carries far more expectations, and now my whole life just revolves around it.
anyhoo… how have the last 365 days been? well… it’s been a blur of a year! so much has happened, it feels like a lifetime of events, and yet 27 just felt… right! i passed a lot of milestones in my life, i met some wonderful people, i had some great personal accomplishments. i travelled and spent time with my loved ones, and looking back, in a way i feel like i was born to be 27. that’s over now, but we can still look back! so let’s!
Celebrating 27 years of life!
the year (obviously) started off with my birthday. i took myself to urban farmer, a restaurant in the logan square area of philly, to honour my solo birthday brunch tradition and suffice it to say, i will not be going back there. well, i’ll say a little more: my server was fairly unfriendly, and the restaurant did not take apple pay, so i had to awkwardly ask to leave and come back with cash, and ofc like the total weirdo i felt like in that moment, i chose to leave my water bottle as a sign of good faith that i was coming back! in hindsight, major LOL! i also almost swallowed a bug on my way to the restaurant – i should have taken that as a bad omen and gone elsewhere! nonetheless…
the following day i got to celebrate my birthday jointly with one of my favourite penn people, my cohort mate, jeffrey! our birthdays are just two days apart so our annual discussion is always how we will handle our birthday celebration(s). i truly appreciate all my office folk for making me and everyone else feel seen on our birthdays each year – a wonderful tradition!
i also had a second birthday celebration in the last 365 days – just a few days ago in the office since i’d be away in zim for my actual birthday. again, thanks you guys!
Running Journey
next up was the broad st run on sunday, may 5th! this remains one of the things i am most proud of accomplishing up to this point in my life. as i discussed in my post last year, i grew up detesting running, particularly long-distance running, but after slowing down and choosing to listen to my body better, i discovered that this was an activity i could actually enjoy and at the time of last year’s post, i was training for the broad st run – a 10 mile (16km) run down a street named broad st in philly. and friends, i did it!! plus i did it faster than i could have imagined – that race day adrenaline is too real! i completed the race in what i had dubbed “Wow-how-is-that-even-possible pace”!
i started training for the following year’s race (2025) early in january but then realised i’d not be around to take part this year (sadly!!). as i write this portion of the post, i am currently in transit in nairobi waiting on my connecting flight to zimbabwe which has been delayed 2 hours (but i got upgraded to business class for this last portion of my trip, so yay!). the race is in a few days, but i will still be home in zim then.
anyhoo… i am still running! inspired by my friend, chisom, i have recently been trying to get myself onto a regular workout schedule, which generally means running shorter distances (2-4 miles at a go) otherwise i’ll skip because either 1) i’m too tired, or 2) i don’t have the time. so far, i have been running three times a week and doing strength training twice a week. the latter has been a major help with my knee issues! i have been doing a great job this semester of going to bed and waking up early (well, earlier than before) and the new workout regime really helps!
Ph.D. Life
it honestly feels odd to dedicate a section to the ph.d. since in reality the ph.d. feels like my whole entire life. anyhoo…
less than a week after the broad st run came my prelim exam! this is a comprehensive ph.d. exam that is meant to determine whether you have acquired enough knowledge and skill to transition from being a ph.d. student, who just takes classes mostly, to a ph.d. candidate who is working towards becoming an independent thinker and researcher (y’all early may was no joke for me, haha). i took what is potentially the final exam i’ll ever need to take, and the longest (a five-day exam), and i am so so grateful to say i fully passed!! truly a huge blessing. i was so unsure about how i did that i procrastinated getting my results (by just a day) until after a planned event (phd poker night) i was looking forward to – i did not want to ruin the event for myself if it turned out that i had not done well. but praise God, all was well! i immediately changed my email signature from “ph.d. student” to “ph.d. candidate” when i got the news – i was REALLY looking forward to that!
overall may was great, but also sad because i said goodbye to my wonderful wonderful friend, adriano, who had been a visiting ph.d. student in our department for the academic year and was heading back home to italy. yes, tears were shed at our last encounter. i miss you a lot, my friend!
soon after my prelim exam i started heavy preparation for the summer class i would be teaching! yes, you read that right. TEACHING! me! teaching a whole undergraduate course at Wharton as the instructor! all these kids were calling me professor kwinjo, a title i have not earned yet, and you know what? i ate it up!! while much more exhausting than i expected, it was very fulfilling and affirmed my chosen career path. i did, however, learn that i need to draw firm boundaries in protecting my time. i spent way too long in unofficial office hours with my students. nonetheless, i loved my teaching experience.
i spent the second half of the summer (and the rest of the calendar year, to be honest) playing catch up on my summer paper which i ought to have started in may, but i was teaching. i enjoyed working on the project, but it ultimately did not yield the results i was expecting, as is typical of academic research.
i do not look back particularly fondly at the fall semester, unfortunately. while i enjoyed working on my summer paper, i did get started on it late (late june rather than may) due to my teaching commitments, and even after i got started on it, the results i found did not match my prior expectations, which felt like a punch to the gut. that semester was honestly tough. there were nights i pulled all-nighters, multiple instances where i went days on end without directly interacting with another human being, i cried many many times, sometimes out of stress and frustration, other times because i just needed to let pent up emotions out, i had conversations with some people which i think were meant to be constructive but only instilled in me a strong sense of self-doubt, something i am still working through, etc. etc. etc.. all this to say, not a great semester. i was incredibly stressed, and while the presentation ultimately went well (praise God), unfortunately, the future of the project remains uncertain.
Family
as summer was nearing its end, i spent three weeks in august in canada with some of my fav people – my two nieces, my sisters-in-love, my brother and friends! i also had the joy to form some new friendships while there and it was just a fun time! we hiked, we ran, we ate, we drank, we danced, we played, we sang, etc. etc. etc. i worked, haha.
i went back to the u.s. for the aforementioned tough semester, BUT, at the conclusion of it, after i presented my paper and the semester ended, i had the joy of travelling to the uk to be with even more people i love! this time, i stayed at sheu and tate’s house with their babies mels and boss mike – i had a wonderful time! the four of them are phenomenal hosts. 5/5-star superhosts, if they were on airbnb.
i also got to spend a few nights at my sister’s house with her kids and just bond more with the girls.
we celebrated christmas at tate and sheu’s with all the uk family joining (except my little sister, princess, who had to work throughout the holidays such that i did not get to see her at all 😢) and had a chaotic gift giving and reveal. i actually read up on this and it seems people have very differing opinions on it – i prefer when each person opens one gift at a time. it feels much more personal and less “transactional.” other people feel that this wastes time and can cause awkwardness, in which case it’s better to have everyone “collect” all their gifts and everyone open everything simultaneously. we did the latter this christmas, and wow, pandemonium! the kids loved it tho!
we had a second christmas party kwamai vatate in harlow where i met many of her relatives i had not met before and also reconnected with some i had met during the season of their wedding. we had a good time, and this only continued to affirm my love and appreciation of extended family – definitely one of the things i love most about being african! the day of the second christmas party was also my sister’s birthday, and the girls and i got together to do something small for her. we love you, chi!
unfortunately, we had a case of the norovirus going around among the babies and they each had their time of illness, with the duration and severity varying significantly across all the kids. the adults, on the other hand, got some form of cold/flu that just wouldn’t go away. mine stayed with me until 2 or 3 weeks after christmas.
tate, sheu, the kids, and i spent new year’s eve at home just relaxing, having some nando’s. we prayed as we entered the new year, then watched the neighboured fireworks, which mels was deathly terrified of. she reminded me of myself – i was also terrified of fireworks when i was her age. chido (my sister) and her girls came to spend my last day in town with me and we had a fun time.
i travelled back to the us the on january 02 so i could attend a ph.d. consortium at the university of north carolina, chapel hill which was scheduled to start on the 6th. i did not see much of the state, but what i saw was beautiful – there were so many tall trees i was honestly mesmerised. maybe i’ve been doing this city life thing for a bit too long…
the spring semester has been work work work. i’ve had my third-year review which did not go great, but not as terribly as i expected. i’ve explored what feels like 3 million possibilities for a dissertation topic (but i think in reality the count is two or three). i’ve started two new projects with faculty members as co-authors. i have cried over work that was done. i have cried over work that was yet to be done. takeaway is… i have cried a lot.
i and my entire family received one of the biggest gifts just over a month ago – my brother and sister-in-love welcomed two new little ones – a boy and a girl, and it is impossible for me to exaggerate how overjoyed we are. the babies are absolutely stunning and so precious to just stare at. mommy and babies are all well, so we are very grateful for that, too.
Living, Laughing, and Loving
i re-ignited my happy girl summer dates in the summer of 2024! i went on dates with two guys and hit it off with the first one. we went on fun dates for a few weeks but ultimately that did not work out… and another one bites the dust (sang in sia’s voice). nonetheless, i had a great time and he made the summer much more enjoyable and memorable!
and then… i moved! i now have my own apartment, y’all, and i absolutely love it! i have learned a lot about myself in living on my own and i look forward to learning more and to continuing to welcome people into my space – for me, it cannot be a home unless i do so. so, if i ever invite you to my place, i mean it sincerely!
as i mentioned before, my fall semester was pretty much a disaster. however, there was a bright spark in the semester: thanksgiving! i hosted a zim dinner, which was attended by 2 zim boys and 4 arundel girls, myself included. the girls spent two nights at my place and i can only describe that visit as healing. as mentioned above, i was drowning in my own world of stress, but i committed myself to just rest when the girls were around, and i could not have rested in better company. theresa, rutendo, and ropa, from the bottom of my heart – thank you so much for allowing me to host you all for thanksgiving. your visit did a lot for my emotional and physical health.
while in the uk in december, i took a day trip to go and honour a tradition i started in 2023: each time i am in the uk, i must go and watch a theatre show on the west end in london. bella, one of our first year ph.d. students, also happened to be vacationing in london at the time so we spent the day together and went to watch agatha christie’s “the mousetrap.” i got us the cheapest seats possible without obstructed view, and while we could see the show perfectly, the seats in that theatre were easily the most uncomfortable theatre seats i have ever been in and i hope i never experience anything similar or worse. after the show we took a walk around covent garden and then said goodbye!
i got back to the u.s. pretty much immediately after the new year to find that we were experiencing the coldest days of the season in philly, and guess what? i got home to find my apartment with no power, and yes, the building uses electricity for heat. when the power was eventually restored, about 36 or so hours later, the heat on my side of the building wasn’t working, and that lasted for maybe another five days. thankfully, i had a space heater to get me through, but i was so close to getting myself a hotel room the night when we had no electricity. in the end, i was too cheap to do so.
in the spirit of getting myself of out my all work and no play routine, i have started a new tradition where i attend one show or event each month. in january, i went to watch a live production of driving miss daisy (loved it!). in february, i watched noel hayward’s hay fever (it was alright). in march, chisom and i went to watch the new live action snow white (i really enjoyed it!), and in april i watched dreamgirls. given that i am trying to revive happy girl summers and be more social in that way, i doubt this tradition will continue into the summer, but i will definitely pick it back up in the fall!
Reflections
as i look back on the year that was, i am humbled by God’s love for me. as i have stated in this post, this has been an academically trying year for me, but at the same time i have loved being 27. truly it’s the people that make these tough times bearable, and even enjoyable! i am incredibly grateful for all my family members (as usual), to my friends who make me feel seen and laughed, and even make me laugh when i feel like i am drowning, and to my ph.d. friends without whom i don’t even know how i would be surviving this phd journey. i also just want to make special mention of my mother who has listened to me vent on so many phone calls and has just been a beacon of encouragement, always, even when we disagree – i love you, mom.
as i am writing this portion of the post, i am sitting on my bed at home in zimbabwe, with a beautiful overnight downpour of rain in the background, excited to have the chance to celebrate my birthday at home in zimbabwe for the first time since i left home for college in 2016. i am so grateful to be around my family, and i am looking forward to having a little celebration with them soon. the celebration will also help me see as many people as i can while i am here!
i look forward to carrying lots of bags of yummy zim treats like chompkins and spar-letta drinks when i head back to school soon. while the climate has been fairly fearful among international students and uncertain in academia, i am reminded (especially by my mother) to not dwell on the things i cannot control and trust that there is a God who knows and cares for me, and whose care over me is not diminished by my environment.
the next chapter is 28, an age that i have looked forward to since i was a small child, the second and final year in my “age of 28.” i look forward to what God has in store for me, both planned and unplanned. i have seen the scope and depth of my faith stretched in the last two to three years, and i expect 28 to be no-different. by the time i write my next birthday post, my dissertation should be about 80-90% figured out and fleshed out and written, etc., and just the thought of that excites me so much. it is also a huge reminder of how time flies. i also look forward to 28 as two of my really good friends from college will be tying the knot with their chosen ones. i am excited to celebrate the love they have found with them <3.
cheers to the end of the 28th year and the beginning of the 29th!
Lots of random pictures
CANDID SHAR'N 