Author: QueenJoy

2021 Challenge – Day 60

QueenJoy

hello, hello! and welcome to the month of march!

it’s the start of month three of being vegetarian! can you imagine!? i went out to a pizza place with some friends last night and i ate quite a bit of garlic bread and french fries – ya girl is still trying to figure out how to eat out vegetarian lol. today’s post will just be me answering the regular questions – next post will have more updates. truth is, i’m also a little distracted watching shake it up chicago right now, haha. so here we go:

How has the experience been so far? it’s been good. i’ve actually been eating *a lot* over the last two or so weeks – my appetite has been huge! idk what triggered it, but it’s been happening, lol.

Protein: umm… as i said, i had garlic bread and french fries for dinner last night, so i guess one might say i haven’t been doing great in this area. well, i’m not actually doing that bad. according to the app MyFitnessPal, i’m doing quite alright, despite yesterday’s excessive carb consumption. it’s mostly just eggs, protein cereals, and ofc, yoghurt!

Could I see myself remaining vegetarian past December 2021? No, thank you. Next.

Favourite recipe since last post: this banana bread. mine doesn’t come out like that, though. mine looks like banana bars – i’ve made it twice and it never rises, lol (see featured picture). it’s still very yum!

Song recommendation of the day: you might remember my guest from episode 6 of the podcast, Bryan K. one of the songs on the album we talked about on the album, Energy (feat. Tamy Moyo) has been nominated for Best RnB at the Star FM listeners Choice Awards! Come thru for my boy, and vote by clicking this link (it leads you to a WhatsApp chat )

Lent 2021: Day 1 – “Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return”

QueenJoy

Happy Ash Wednesday to those of you who celebrate Lent, and ultimately Easter. For those who may not be aware, Lent is the 40-day period leading up to Easter where (some) Christians mourn the death of Christ by repenting from our sinful selves and setting our gaze on God, while also preparing to celebrate His resurrection.

For as long as I can remember my faith has been strong – I have walked through seasons where I felt God was distant, but my heart was steadfast. However, recently, I have felt like I have not been as steadfast. I have maintained my daily practice of reading the Bible, in fact, I have been going at it like I am on steroids for the last year or so, but somehow I feel like I have been slipping. My mind has been clouded with doubts, mostly around the character of God. I love God, I always have, but I guess the question I have been asking recently is whether I like God. I have also been burdened by the way many Christian communities particularly in the US, have presented themselves in this past election season. These are just a few of the things that have been on my mind.

Since I started observing Lent (a practice I was introduced to at my Anglican high school), I have always given something up for the season. I have given up desserts, meat, social media, etc. But this year, in light of my headspace, I have decided to pick something up. I have decided to watch/listen to one sermon of my choosing everyday until Easter. So today I quickly Googled “ash wednesday sermon” and came across this sermon. As it turns out, the preacher in this sermon (The Rev. Christopher Doering) was talking about feeling distant from God and I felt that God had led me to this particular sermon. The first of three reasons the preacher gave on why people fall away from/get distant from God is over-confidence, feeling that there is no way we could ever stumble in our faith, as Peter did when speaking with Christ, and I felt convicted by that. If you want to hear the story of my spiritual life, listen to the sermon from 06:20 to 07:53 (I laughed just cause of how true it was of me). I was always so confident that I could never slip, that when it started happening I did not even notice. And so this sermon just felt perfect for me. I am so excited to get to spend time with God in a way that I have not done before – consistently listening to sermons once a day for 46 days (40 excluding Sunday church sermons).

If you are observing Lent this year and would like to share your journey with me through these 46 days of repenting and turn back to God, I would love to hear from you.

A closing note on COVID-19: due to the pandemic, the usual practice where the priest smears ashes onto willing congregants on Ash Wednesday was altered so as to not create super-spreader events in churches across the world, and I must admit that I am disappointed that I could not be a part of the annual Lent “frat” this year.

Hasta la proxima!

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xx QueenJoy

day 270: tiri mubindu – ramblings on the passing of kevin jiang

QueenJoy

last sunday morning i found out that someone i knew had been fatally shot the night before right here in new haven. when i first read his name in the email from the university president, “kevin jiang“, i thought it had to be a different kevin. but it soon became clear that this was the same kevin i knew and admired.

many things struck me upon this realisation. one was how casually i had set my phone aside when i had received an email the night before from the university chief of police that an unidentified individual had been shot fatally. i opened the email and checked out the location to ensure it was nowhere close to the areas i frequented. it was, in fact, close to a breakfast/brunch place that university students frequented – my two girlfriends and i had been there just a few weeks prior. i figured i would not be in that area anytime soon, put my phone away, and went to bed without giving the incident another thought. and then the email on sunday morning arrived, and that marked the beginning of a very confusing and tearful day.

i cried upon realising that someone i knew had been so brutally murdered. i cried out of sadness. i cried out of confusion. i cried out of fear. i cried in pain for his parents. it felt unfair that, of all people, it had been kevin. kevin who had just gotten engaged exactly seven days before. i cried for his fiancé.

i have for most of my life believed that you can love anyone if you know them and their story well enough, and so it is that most of us absolutely love people that appear nothing but ordinary to the rest of the world. but kevin just wasn’t like that. kevin was one of those people whose soul you instantly fell in love with. when i first met him he was visiting the on-campus ministry i was a part of in college, yale chi alpha, and he came to say hi to me. he came to me, yet he was the visitor, and boy was that one heck of a greeting! i was a little stunned by how energetic and genuine his greeting was, with a smile that felt like it was radiating from deep within and an eagerness to get to know me as much as he possibly could in the five minutes that followed. at two of the vigils for him that i attended in the last week, floods of people gave testimony to stories similar to mine, to the genuineness of kevin’s heart, to his generosity of spirit which came through within minutes in conversation with him. he was just one of those people that left you feeling at least a little better, feeling seen, after just a few minutes of conversation. he was unashamed of his faith and rooting in Christ, and felt no reason to apologise for it while respecting the differing views of those around him. kevin was a true light, and the world is a little dimmer without him.

it is with this image of a bright and joy-sharing kevin, left alone to die with multiple bullet-shot wounds, that i am brought to one of my favourite, yet somber, songs by the late oliver ‘tuku’ mtukudzi, tiri mubindu. the lyrics of the chorus read:

ruva rakanaka harirarame
(a beautiful flower does not survive)
tinoritanha rangoyevedza
(we pluck it as soon as it blooms)
munhu akanaka haararame
(a good person does not survive)
anotama nenguva pfupi
(they move to the next life in no time)

the first half has always been easy to understand – if you have been to a flower shop, or seen the joy that a beautiful rose shared between lovers can bring (the rose itself doomed to die), or even taken part in the almost natural act of picking out a pretty flower while on a stroll, you’ll know this to be true. the second part only rang so deeply true last weekend. kevin, a young 26-year-old with his life before him, plucked in the prime of his youth.

i have also been plagued a little with thoughts of “the butterfly effect.” if you are unaware, this is the notion that every single action has results greater than itself, that even the seemingly insignificant flapping of a butterfly’s wings deep in the amazon rainforest could lead to a chain of events that ultimately have world-reaching effects. the last time i saw kevin was a few days before last weekend. he was shopping at our local grocery store, and figuring he was occupied with his shopping, and given that it was from a distance that i had spotted him, i did not say hi. my mind can’t help but wonder what could have been or not been had i spoken to him, maybe even just waved to say hello. but God has been bringing me to a place of humility and submission with regards to this – in spite of “the butterfly effect”, God’s will is ultimately sovereign. God is God, and i am not. many things in life are beyond my area of influence, and this is one. my regret, then, is that i did not engage in one last conversation with kevin.

the last time i did have a conversation with kevin was on january 31, 2020, the day he met his future fiance. exactly 372 days before his death. the number 372 has been ringing in my mind the whole week. 372. that’s the number of days kevin had left in his life that day. kevin’s days were numbered, and so are mine. i do not know how many days i have left to be alive, or the number of days my loved ones have. it could be anything 1 to 30,000. i don’t know. if you knew kevin, or took the time to read the various things people have said about him, it would not take long to realise that kevin lived his life to his fullest. if i have learned one thing from the tragedy of his untimely death it is that there is no reason to live ashamed. of what should i be ashamed? of whom? what is the purpose of being alive if i do not use the time i have to be true to who i am and to my convictions? better 26 years of purposeful living that 80 of just “going with the flow.”

i continue to pray for peace for kevin’s fiance as well as his family and close friends – those who knew him best and loved him most. the next few days, months, and years will not be easy with him gone, but i pray for the peace of God that transcends all understanding. as i think of kevin i can’t help but hear the closing words of kirk franklin’s the appeal ring in my head:

When I die, what will they say about me?
Will the work that I’ve done
Be enough to help someone?
When I die, will I draw men’s hearts to You?
At the setting of the sun
Wanna hear You say
Well done, when I die
Well done, well done

i know the Creator has said “well done” to kevin over and over in the last week.

kevin, you were a light. you are a light. and heaven is rejoicing now to have you join eternity and commune with our saviour.

  • if you would like to join/watch kevin’s funeral held on saturday february 13, 2021 you can watch the live stream here. kevin would have been 27 the day after on sunday, february 14.
  • if you would like to donate to kevin’s family during this difficult time you can give here or here.

2021 Challenge – Day 35

QueenJoy

Well hello there, dear reader!

It’s been over a month since I went 100% vegetarian and so far so good! I am trying to get myself to enjoy eating more beans, so that’s been interesting. I made this very simple canned black bean recipe a few nights ago and I absolutely really enjoyed it – I will definitely be making it again.

I had my first take-out order of vegetarian food on my friend naima’s birthday: vegetable fried rice and avocado sushi from this local Japanese joint called Yamasaki Teriyaki. I always love fried rice so it’s a given i enjoyed that. the avocado sushi was also good, but idk – i’ll probably order it again but once 2022 hits i’m back to my eel & avocado rolls!

I have also recently become a more informed grocery shopper – i learned that if i time the local transit bus just right, i can get to the mall in 30 minutes (same as taking a $20 uber, except for just $1.75) and shop at target or walmart for so much cheaper, instead of our more expensive local grocery store. i love being in cars/moving vehicles so the extended trip time is not a probem for me. when i was a kid my tete (aunt) used to call me “peturu” (petrol) because if a car was driving out of our home, i had to be in it! and what else would i be doing besides binging my favourite comedies in my pyjamas all day anyway in these corona times.

Yeah, so that’s about it. There isn’t really much to report on the vegetarian life side of things.

In other news, I got my second dose of the covid-19 vaccine today (woohoo)!! They say the side effects of the second dose tend to be worse than for the first dose so lets just wait and see. After my first dose I just had a sore arm, like, really sore – i struggled to sleep at night, and the whole situation wasn’t helped by the fact that i tend to lie on my side in order to fall asleep (after which i’ll roll over and either sleep on my back or on my tummy – not that you care much about this minute detail of my life anyway, lol). the pain went away after ~48 hours and that was it for me on the side effects page. i know there’s a lot of concern about the vaccine and fears about getting it, and if you are concerned about it please feel free to reach out to me – it took a lot of thought (and prayer) for me to decide to get the vaccine, so at the very least i can just share my reasoning and how i finally came to my decision. Trust me, summer 2020 me would *not* believe that just half a year later i would be fully vaccinated, lol.

More other news… my college dean just recently alerted me to the fact that i now have an IMDB page (lol!!!), and so does my good friend Sarah Geach. Now Sarah has *so many* creative outlets, so i’ll just drop two here – this one and this one. She’s a gem <3. The movie we are both a part of is a documentary on the late Pauli Murray, the namesake our residential college, and we took part in a discussion on her life and work once and the film producers were around to film that! Then other smaller news: I got a new backpack this last weekend that has made me realise how horrible for my back the old one was, heh!

I am hoping that the podcast will make it’s 2021 debut sometime this month, but who knows. I know consistency is a thing, but i never want the podcast to become a burden for me so episodes will come out when i want them to come out hahaha.

Without further ado, i’ll answer the regular questions (plus one new question):

How has the experience been so far? nothing has changed from last week, really. so far so good, but once 2022 hits i’m eating meat again. i have been surprised, though, by how constricted vegetarian options are. to me it seemed as though so many people were vegetarian that there would be more options at restaurants and stuff but not quite. not that there aren’t many options, i was just expecting more. either i overestimated the vegetarian market coming into this, or the suppliers underestimate vegetarian demand.

Protein: still enjoying my yoghurts. i’m hoping my new friendship with beans will also help a lot here. tbh i’ve been far less obsessed with my protein intake over the last two weeks than i was when i wrote the last post. that might just be because i’m settling into a routine and i more instinctively rather than consciously look for high protein food when i shop/cook.

Could I see myself remaining vegetarian past December 2021? No, thank you. Next.

[updated question] Favourite recipe since last post: y’all, i made myself such a *yummy* beyond burger yesterday. if you aren’t aware, beyond burgers are these imitation burgers which are plant based – but don’t let “plant-based” fool you, they are about as unhealthy as regular burgers lol. i made the patty, fried some onions, added a few slices of iceberg lettuce and tomato, and made a little bit of this sauce (sans the bbq sauce), then slapped all this on two halves of a toasted english muffin. hmm… it was actually “finger-licking good”.

[new unrelated question] song recommendation of the day: this question has just been born out of the fact that i love this song and it’s been playing in my mind for the last few hours. it’s called I Hope You Dance, and it is by Mandisa, an incredibly encouraging artist whom I was actually introduced to in high school by Sarah Geach’s mom. Everytime I listen to it I imagine it as a letter I have written to my future (currently faceless) daughter that she is reading. i magine mandisa herself might have had a similar vision.

As always, hmu if you have thoughts/comments/suggestions.

Until next time, amigos!

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xx QueenJoy

2021 Challenge – Day 21

QueenJoy

my last post was almost exactly four months ago!! discipline, amirite??

well, a few nights ago i watched the movie Julie & Julia on Netflix, which if you haven’t watched, i recommend. it’s totally up my lane – cute and feel-goody. anyway, in that movie, julie keeps a blog for 365 days as she takes herself through a cooking challenge. as i watched it i thought “maybe i should keep a blog of my yearly challenges too,” haha. though the blog might not be as exciting as julie’s was, i figured i already had a yearly challenge that i was almost three weeks into so i would definitely have material, and given i had about forty-nine weeks to go, it wouldn’t be too late to start. i had ten million blog posts in my drafts anyway, so this would give me a reason to check on them frequently and potentially promote them from drafts to published posts.

so, here i am on day 21 of my 365-day challenge. “what is the challenge?” you may ask. well, this girl is vegetarian for the year! you heard that right… no meat for a whole year! i’ve had family members ask why such a huge change, especially for someone who comes from a culture where you haven’t had a meal until you’ve had meat. i figure some of them ask out of pity, that maybe i’m too broke to buy meat – lol, i’m trippin’. truth is, i think they ask out of worry that i might go a whole year just plain hungry! p.s., if you are family and you are reading this, don’t worry – i am very well fed.

so… why vegetarianism? it’s an idea i have flirted with through much of my time in college. i’ve been vegetarian for religious fasts, i’ve been vegetarian for a few weeks just for kicks, and once i was even VEGAN for a whole two weeks (i’m never doing that again!). half way through 2020 i realised i had gone the entire year thus far without getting any braids done in my hair or anything of that sort, and so i challenged myself to finish the year like that. upon realising i wanted a new challenge for 2021, vegetarianism came as a no-brainer. this was my chance to see if i had the guts to do this for more than just a couple of weeks. granted the hair thing was eons easier – in fact, i’m still rocking my natural hair (15 months and counting)., i had to try!

i decided to commit pretty early. at the end of september i dropped pork from my diet which was super easy cause i didn’t eat much of it to begin with, and then october saw the end of my beef days, a transition that wasn’t too difficult either. the real challenge came at the end of november. i must admit that on december 2nd, i found two leftover chicken nuggets in my fridge & i did not have the heart to throw them out, so i had them, hehe. and then on december 31st i had my last taste of any sort of meat until 2022 when i got myself a roll of eel & avocado sushe. bye-bye 2020, & bye-bye meat!

now that you have the backstory of what my challenge for the year is, i’ll now tell you what these updates will be all about. i’ll use them let you know what i’ve been eating, share some recipes that i’ve tried and maybe give some reviews, and then i’ll tell you how i’m feeling about the whole shabam. i’ll try come up with regular questions i can answer to track how my feelings may be changing with time, so here’s what i can think of today:

How has the experience been so far? so far so good. i am confident that i can complete the challenge. i’ve realised that now that i’m vegetarian i am far less likely to order take-out cause i just don’t feel like paying a restaurant for vegetables, feel like a rip-off lol! another thing is that after 9 months of cooking for each other every night for dinner, nardos & i have split our groceries and now cook for ourselves, and i feel like a little child! i don’t feel the drive to cook for myself, so if i’m not eating leftovers, i’m probably just having a sandwich for dinner or something dumb like that.

Protein: my go-to has mostly been high-protein yogurts and eggs, but i’ve read in a few places that dairy might not be the best supplement. but hey, i like my eggs and yogurt, so i’ll stick to that for now. i’m also not a big fan of cheese (except on pizza), so that’s another little protein hurdle. i downloaded My Fitness Pal so i could keep track of the nutrients i am consuming and while i’m not doing terrible, i’m not doing great either on the protein.

Could I see myself remaining vegetarian past December 2021? that would be a hard no. are there some great vegetarian recipes and dishes? absolutely yes! but i have to say i miss me some fried chicken.

Favourite recipe so far: well, i actually prepared this in december 2020 when i could still eat fish & seafood, but i made a barley soup which i really liked. i had never had barley before, and i had never liked soups much, but i impressed myself with this one. i even baked my own bread and it was great!

if you have any suggestions for things i could try out, feel free to leave a comment on this post or message me privately! also check out the podcast – i’ve been on an unannounced break for about two months now, but i’ll be back v soon.

hasta luego!

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xx QueenJoy

day 126: yesterday i cried

QueenJoy

yesterday i cried. and then after crying i ordered myself a dozen donuts. that’s twelve whole donuts! all. for. myself. i guess corona has finally gotten to me – or it’s been getting to me for a while and i just hadn’t realised. no, i don’t have the virus – keep the prayers coming, thank :). no, i think i’m maybe starting to feel… idk, maybe call it loneliness. i am a very social person, not the kind that loves parties and being in large crowds, but still a social person. in fact, those kind of make me uncomfortable. i love game nights with friends, midnight walks home from drinks with friends, attending plays and acappella concerts with friends. i’m that kind of social person. and man, i miss it, and i’m tired. a few days ago i walked past a sports frat house party and i envied it. i, sharon joy kwinjo, envied a frat party. ha! talk about the work of a virus. yesterday i cried. well, i guess i’ve been crying a lot over the last two weeks. at first i just blamed it on my period, cause let’s be real, those hormones do things to you. and then my period ended, and i kept crying. no, no, don’t worry. don’t all grab your phones at once to check in – i’m doing okay (or am i?). i haven’t just been crying though (again, i’m doing okay), i’ve been crying at things. anytime something remotely emotional comes up on tv, it gets me (or maybe the final season of orange is the new black is just that good!). i’ve cried watching so many shows. y’all, everytime chrishelle even showed her face in season 3 of selling sunset, i was out. so yeah, i’ve been crying. but yesterday i cried. i cried because i realised that maybe it wasn’t just my hormones causing me to cry the last two weeks, but rather that maybe i just miss something. i miss life as it is supposed to be. i miss knowing that having to go to my friends wedding doesn’t mean i’ll need to miss two weeks of work to self-quarantine, especially seeing as i’m new on the job! i miss knowing that i can visit my brother for christmas and spend time with him and his family without needing to self quarantine for two weeks and essentially losing my entire christmas vacation staying alone in a hotel room. i have friends. that’s one of the joys of staying an extra year in the city of your alma mater. i guess maybe after six months of separation some of those friendships start to, and so maybe a part of me is mourning the loss of those friendships as i used to know them. but hey, cliche or not, it’s true – maybe the evolution of these friendships is not bad at all, maybe its because they are just growing into something more beautiful. so i’m tired. i’m of being away from those i love and knowing that i can’t be with them. anyway, i don’t think i can even call *this* loneliness. yesterday i cried. to be fair, i only ate three of those dozen donuts. but i still ordered them. and then today a wonderful friend called. and she made me feel a lot better about ordering a dozen donuts – called it “treating myself”. ha! and well, i guess it’s friends like these that make this period of social distancing better. the friends that make you feel ok for doing something as dumb as ordering yourself a dozen donuts. yesterday i cried. and i’m glad i did. if you’re anything like me, then these cries are so essential to your day to day functioning. i think the strange thing is not that i cried yesterday, but that i hadn’t cried in the last three to four months. for me, crying is an essential part of my life. i must cry every couple of weeks to let go of my emotions. or my something. i’m just a very emotional person. misodzi yangu iri padhuze. again, no need to text and check in. i’m doing alright. idk what i let go of, really, when i cry. i just know it’s something that i must cry to let go. or maybe it’s not something i’m letting go of when i cry, but something i’m grabbing a hold of. allowing myself to acknowledge what i feel and just feel it. the joy and the sadness. and what better way to express both than by crying. i’m doing better because yesterday i cried. btw – i have eight more donuts to go.

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QueenJoy

my box of a dozen donuts (which i did not share)

Day 0 or Day 73? Introduction

QueenJoy

              Rewind to December 2017, I clearly recall listing to my dad what I would be doing the summer of 2018, five months from then. Not only was I telling him what I would be doing in five months’ time, but also in six, in seven, and in eight months’ time. I knew exactly where I would be and the big picture of what I would be doing in those places. My time was scheduled and my plans were certain and I loved it. That is a pretty accurate picture of what my time in college was like, what the last four years of my life were. Although not comparable to my time in college, even my time in high school, with a few exceptions, was pretty certain.

              Fast forward to now, Day 73 of this new chapter of my life, Day 0 of this platform, and everything looks very different. I am searching for a job and I cannot tell you where I will be in three months’ time. I can’t tell you whether I’ll be in the same city, state and/or country. I can’t even tell you where I will be in a month’s time but that’s what makes me excited to be starting this platform! I get to share with you all, and you get to join, in this new adventure of mine.

              I have been wanting to start a blog for a while now and after I recently watched a short video of Mark Zuckerberg on Facebook talking about how the hardest part of any venture is getting started, I decided to just start. I also decided that maybe I also wanted to do a podcast since I enjoy talking more than I do writing, so I decided to start that too. And why not also have the YouTube channel for occasional video content, right?

              So… yes, I am presenting you with a not-so-threatening Triple Threat Podcast, YouTube Channel and Blog. If you have anything in particular you’d like to see on the platform – topics you would like to hear discussed, questions you have for me etc. – hit me up on social media. The blog page on Facebook and Twitter is @candidsharn, and my social media username is @miss_sharonjoy. I’d love to hear what you think. Look out for the first podcast episode coming soon, featuring three of my housemates and friends, Nardos & Phyllis from upstairs, and Maria from across the hall!

              Welcome to Candid Shar’n!

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xx QueenJoy