Happy Ash Wednesday to those of you who celebrate Lent, and ultimately Easter. For those who may not be aware, Lent is the 40-day period leading up to Easter where (some) Christians mourn the death of Christ by repenting from our sinful selves and setting our gaze on God, while also preparing to celebrate His resurrection.
For as long as I can remember my faith has been strong – I have walked through seasons where I felt God was distant, but my heart was steadfast. However, recently, I have felt like I have not been as steadfast. I have maintained my daily practice of reading the Bible, in fact, I have been going at it like I am on steroids for the last year or so, but somehow I feel like I have been slipping. My mind has been clouded with doubts, mostly around the character of God. I love God, I always have, but I guess the question I have been asking recently is whether I like God. I have also been burdened by the way many Christian communities particularly in the US, have presented themselves in this past election season. These are just a few of the things that have been on my mind.
Since I started observing Lent (a practice I was introduced to at my Anglican high school), I have always given something up for the season. I have given up desserts, meat, social media, etc. But this year, in light of my headspace, I have decided to pick something up. I have decided to watch/listen to one sermon of my choosing everyday until Easter. So today I quickly Googled “ash wednesday sermon” and came across this sermon. As it turns out, the preacher in this sermon (The Rev. Christopher Doering) was talking about feeling distant from God and I felt that God had led me to this particular sermon. The first of three reasons the preacher gave on why people fall away from/get distant from God is over-confidence, feeling that there is no way we could ever stumble in our faith, as Peter did when speaking with Christ, and I felt convicted by that. If you want to hear the story of my spiritual life, listen to the sermon from 06:20 to 07:53 (I laughed just cause of how true it was of me). I was always so confident that I could never slip, that when it started happening I did not even notice. And so this sermon just felt perfect for me. I am so excited to get to spend time with God in a way that I have not done before – consistently listening to sermons once a day for 46 days (40 excluding Sunday church sermons).
If you are observing Lent this year and would like to share your journey with me through these 46 days of repenting and turn back to God, I would love to hear from you.
A closing note on COVID-19: due to the pandemic, the usual practice where the priest smears ashes onto willing congregants on Ash Wednesday was altered so as to not create super-spreader events in churches across the world, and I must admit that I am disappointed that I could not be a part of the annual Lent “frat” this year.
Hasta la proxima!
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xx QueenJoy
CANDID SHAR'N 